Carla Cassidy - Pregnant In Prosperino p.04

Twelve

Lana watched from the window as Chance and Lester Pierce from Prosperino Realty Company walked around the corral area. She could tell by the way Lester was shaking his head enthusiastically that he was impressed with the work that had been done around the place and was already anticipating a quick sale and a big commission.

She turned away from the window, unable to watch while Chance made the arrangements to sell her dream, to irrevocably break her heart.

Sinking down at the table, she tried not to think about how solicitous Chance had been the night before and all that morning.

He’d greeted her in bed with a saucer full of crackers, instructing her to eat several before attempting to move. She’d done just that and had been pleasantly surprised that the morning sickness passed more quickly than usual.

Since getting out of bed, Chance had insisted she sit and relax while he threw a load of laundry into the washer, then took out a pound of hamburger from the freezer for supper that evening.

“Chance, I’m pregnant, not terminally ill,” she’d protested.

“You’re pregnant with twins, and the doctor said he didn’t want you stressed or to overdo.”

“I don’t intend to overdo,” she protested, although she said nothing about being somewhat stressed. She couldn’t help but be stressed when she thought of Chance selling the ranch, leaving Prosperino and dashing any lingering hope she might entertain of their marriage becoming a lasting one.

Still, for the remainder of the afternoon, Chance had treated her like an invalid, waiting on her hand and foot and doing the household chores she normally did. And every minute of the afternoon had radiated with the simmering tension that existed between them.

She wasn’t sure if the tension was because Chance was still upset that she was having twins or if it had its source somewhere else.

She knew she felt edgy and slightly out of sorts. She knew it was because she desperately wanted Chance to make love to her again, she desperately wanted to be held in his arms, taste his mouth against hers and for just a moment feel her love for him explode in her heart.

It had almost been a relief when Lester had shown up right after supper for a tour of the place. Lana cleared off the dishes, washed them and put them away, then sat at the table and sipped a glass of orange juice.

She knew it had been pure madness to agree to remain here until the ranch sold. The place would probably sell within a week or two. Or, it was possible it might take months for the right buyer to come along.

Months that she could spend here with Chance, months in which she could simply fall more and more in love with him, making their final separation all that much more painful.

She should have moved back to her apartment the first morning she’d felt sick and had suspected it was morning sickness. But she didn’t have the strength to deny herself one minute, one hour, one day of time with Chance.

And there was still a small flame of hope alive inside her, a tiny kernel of hope that he just might love her back and decide to stay here and help her raise his babies.

She stood as Chance and Lester came in through the back door. “I told you to leave the dishes,” Chance said. “I would have taken care of them.”

“I’m fine, Chance.” She forced a smile of greeting to Lester. She liked the man fine, but it was difficult to be friendly to a man who intended to take away your dream. “Nice to see you, Lester.”

“And you.” Lester returned her smile. “And I understand congratulations are in order. Chance told me you’re adding to your family.”

Adding two and subtracting one, Lana thought, then shoved the painful thought aside. “Yes, we’re very excited.”

“Let me show you the house,” Chance said, his voice a gruff command. As he led Lester out of the kitchen, Lana heard him explaining that there were a few things that would need to be done to the house, but that Chance didn’t intend to do them.

She knew he was talking about the hole in the Sheetrock in the spare bedroom and the broken bathroom door lock. He refused to fix them because they represented his childhood pain, his anger at his father. And she believed that as long as his heart was filled with that unresolved anger, he would never fully open himself up to love.

Yet, she knew it was possible she was kidding herself, that Chance’s heart would open to love with the right woman, and Lana simply wasn’t the woman for him.

But, oh, how he felt like the man for her. She had grown to love the way he looked first thing in the morning, with his gold-streaked brown hair tousled from sleep and his cheeks dusky with a night’s whisker growth.

She adored the way his beautiful green eyes transmitted his emotions, lightening when he laughed, and deepening when he was intense and thoughtful.

She loved him, but she wasn’t sure she understood him. There were many evenings when they sat side-by-side on the front porch and she’d feel sweet contentment radiating from him. There were many nights, before the pregnancy test, when he’d held her in his arms and she’d felt love emanating from him and thundering in his heartbeat.

Or was she only imagining those emotions? Was the contentment she thought she felt from him actually a wistfulness for his life back in the midwest? Was the love she sometimes felt wafting from him actually the simple passion of a virile man for any woman?

She stood as Lester and Chance returned to the kitchen. “It’s a great place,” Lester said enthusiastically. “I’m sure it will sell quickly. I’ll get it listed first thing in the morning for the price we discussed and I’ve got a For Sale sign in my car, so we’ll get it up before I leave.”

Chance nodded, his expression unreadable.

“Could you and Lana come into the office first thing in the morning and sign the realty contract?”

Chance looked at Lana. She nodded and tried to ignore the dull ache in her heart. “That will be fine,” Chance said to Lester. “But let’s make it early afternoon instead of first thing in the morning.”

A surge of love filled Lana as she realized he was making the appointment in the afternoon in deference to her. He knew that lately mornings were difficult for her.

As Lester and Chance walked out to Lester’s car, Lana made half a pot of coffee, knowing Chance liked to end the day by sitting on the porch and sipping a cup of coffee.

The sound of Lester’s car pulling out of the drive-way came just as the coffee finished brewing. Lana pulled on a lightweight sweater, then poured Chance a cup of coffee and left the house.

The first thing that struck her eyes when she reached the door was the large For Sale sign in the front yard. The significance of all that the sign implied hit her like a slap in the face, an arrow in the heart.

Chance sat in the chair where he usually sat, a thoughtful expression on his handsome face. He looked up as she stepped out on the porch. Seeing the coffee mug in her hand, he jumped up to help her.

“Sit down,” she commanded as she handed him the mug. “I can manage getting my—you a cup of coffee without needing help.” She’d been about to say “my husband,” but she had to stop thinking of Chance as her husband. It wouldn’t be long now and he’d be out of her life.

It was time she started removing him from her mind—and attempted to release him from her heart.



“You’re nothing, boy. You never were worth anything and you’ll always be nothing.” Sarge Reilly glared at his son.

As always, Chance knew he was dreaming, but he couldn’t pull himself out of the nightmare, nor could he escape the intense emotional pain that racked him as his father berated him.

Simply words, he told himself, but the power of those words battered him like fists and again he swallowed in an attempt to contain the tears that pressed perilously close to the surface.

“Run, boy. Sell this place and run as far and as fast as you can. That woman and those babies will be better off without you. They don’t need a loser in their lives.”

Sarge’s words pierced him like bullets. He needed to escape, to run, but when he turned, Lana stood there, blocking his path.

She opened her arms to him, and he knew in her arms was his salvation. But as he tried to go to her, his father grabbed him from behind, making it impossible.

“Chance!”

With a start, he tumbled from his dream world and into reality. Moonlight streaked into the windows, filling the bedroom with enough light that he could see Lana gazing at him, a worried crinkle in the center of her forehead.

“Are you all right? You were crying out.”

His first impulse was to say that he was fine, that it was just a dumb dream. But that wasn’t the truth, and the empty platitude didn’t make it to his lips.

“No, I’m not all right.” He sat up and raked his fingers through his hair, aware that his heart still beat the accelerated rhythm of confrontation with his father. “It was a nightmare.”

She sat up and touched his arm lightly. “Is there anything I can do?” she asked, her eyes luminous and achingly earnest.

His need for her exploded inside him, shooting heat through his veins and setting his nerve endings aflame. He had not touched her since the day she’d taken her pregnancy test, but now he could not deny the need that suffused him.

He said nothing, but instead wrapped his arms around her and claimed her mouth with his. He half expected a protest to rise to her lips. Instead, she simply kissed him back.

Together they fell back on the bed, arms wrapped around each other and lips locked feverishly. Neither spoke as the kiss deepened and heartbeats raced.

Chance wanted to make love to her and he could tell by the heat of her kiss, by the way her hands stroked over his shoulders, across his back, that she wanted him, too.

There was no longer any bargain to fulfill, no baby to make, there was absolutely no reason for them to make love except the incredible desire to hold her in his arms, feel her body next to his, lose himself in her embrace.

What was wondrous and amazing was he felt the same emotions radiating from her. She clung to him as if her hunger was as great as his. He realized it was more than physical hunger that drove them together, it was a need to connect on a deeper level than just with mere bodies. It was a desire to touch the light of her soul, knowing it would banish the darkness in his.

With a whisper and a sigh, her nightgown seemed to melt away, leaving her warm and pliant in his arms. There was no urgency between them, no pressure to hurry. Rather he wanted each touch, every caress to linger for an eternity.

As he swept his hand across her lower abdomen, he thought he felt a subtle fullness that hadn’t been there before. Babies. Twin babies.

His babies.

Awe swept through him as for the first time since the doctor’s visit the fact that Lana was carrying his twins sank in. A part of him, a part of her, growing inside her…their babies.

The skin across her stomach was silky smooth, and he wondered how long it would be before a hand on her belly might feel the kick of a tiny foot, or the jab of a little elbow.

As he claimed Lana’s lips again, all thoughts of babies fled as his mind, his senses, his very being, were filled with her.

They made love slowly, with a tenderness he’d never known before. He could feel her heartbeat as he possessed her, a steady, rapid beating that echoed comfortably deep inside him.

Afterward, they remained locked in an embrace, neither speaking as they waited for heartbeats to slow and breathing to resume a more normal pace.

Within minutes he knew Lana had fallen back to sleep. Her light breaths were warm against the side of his neck, and one of her arms was flung across his chest.

He turned to gaze at her, grateful for the moonlight that allowed him to see her features as she slept. She had never looked more beautiful than she did at this moment, with her hair tousled and her cheeks still colored from their exertions. Her lips were slightly swollen and her eyes moved rapidly behind the lids.

He wondered if she was dreaming. If she was, he hoped she had happy dreams. He frowned. Soon she would have no time to dream, she’d barely find time to sleep. Two babies.

He eased away from her and got out of bed, suddenly too restless to sleep. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, then left the bedroom.

He dressed quickly then stepped out the front door, where the moon not only lit the land with a silvery glow, but also played on the real estate sign in the middle of the front yard.

Easing down on one of the chairs on the porch, Chance fought to sort out the emotions that raged through him. He’d thought he knew what he wanted from life, what he intended to get out of life, but now all his preconceived wants seemed selfish and shallow.

That woman and those babies don’t need a loser in their lives. Sarge’s words from Chance’s nightmare played and replayed in his mind.

But they did need somebody, and Chance knew nobody else was going to step in. All his life, he’d made his decisions to prove that Sarge was wrong about him. Yet, the decisions he’d made had simply proven how right Sarge had been.

Chance had spent his life running from commitments, escaping any real responsibility. It had always been easier to run than to take the risk of disappointing anyone or proving without a doubt that his father had been right about him and he was a loser.

Again his mind filled with thoughts of Lana, who had transformed the ranch house into a home. Lana, who had rubbed the sore muscles of his back without him asking, who had drawn him a hot bath after a particularly grueling day.

Since the moment they had gotten married, Lana had seemed to work extra hard to make Chance’s life happy. She laughed at his stupid jokes, didn’t complain when he left his dirty clothes in the middle of the bathroom floor. She seemed to sense when he needed a touch of her hand, a smile of encouragement or simply an understanding silence.

And now she needed him.

He leaned back in the chair and thought of how sick Lana had been each morning, and how her energy level had lowered over the past couple of days. She needed him now, and he knew when the babies were born she would need him even more.

When he’d made the bargain with her, he’d believed it would be easy to walk away. He’d never know now if he would have been able to walk away from her if she’d been pregnant with one baby.

He certainly hadn’t counted on twins. Neither had she. But the fact that there were two babies negated their original agreement.

Those babies needed a real home, with a father and a mother present. Lana needed a husband, a companion to help with feeding and bathing, changing and rocking the babies. She needed him.

If he walked away now, he would be living up to his father’s expectations. Maybe it was time he tried to exceed everyone’s expectations, including his own.

Decision made, he stood and walked off the porch. In the light of the silvery moonshine, he hurried across the grass to where the real estate sign stood. Grabbing it with both hands, he tugged it out of the ground and carried it to the barn. He set it inside, then returned to the porch and looked around one last time.

This ranch, which had been the place of Chance’s misery for years, would now be his legacy of love to his children. A surge of emotions welled up inside him.

Tomorrow he’d go to town and order not one, but two of those canopied cribs she’d seen in the store. His heart swelled as he thought of her happiness when she saw the two cribs in the spare room.

Silently, he went into the house, undressed, then slid back in bed beside Lana, who still slept soundly. He closed his eyes, his heart at peace.

For the first time in his life he felt as if he’d made the right decision. He was not going to sell the ranch. He was not going to run away.

He would stay, because Lana needed him.



Meredith stood at the guest bedroom window in Rand’s town house, staring out at the darkness of the night. Tomorrow. The thought of the day to come held both the promise of incredible joy and the possibility of enormous heartache.

What havoc had Patsy wrought in the life she had stolen? The family that had been so important to Meredith—had Patsy managed to destroy it?

A slight moan broke the silence and Meredith turned away from the window and gazed at Emily, who restlessly slept in the bed nearby.

Although Rand’s town home had enough bedrooms for Emily and Meredith to have had their own for the night, Emily had insisted she wanted to sleep in Meredith’s room.

Meredith’s heart expanded as she gazed at the young woman with the moonlight shining on her face. Her little Sparrow. Of all the foster children she and Joe had taken in, Emily had been special…so special she and Joe had adopted her.

But Emily wasn’t little anymore. Rather she was a beautiful woman carrying a heart full of anguish. Since Meredith’s arrival here and after hearing the story about Toby and Snake Eyes Pike, she’d been worried sick about her daughter.

The light in Emily’s beautiful blue eyes had been extinguished, as if a piece of her had died along with the hero lawman.

“Patsy, how could you have done something like this?” Meredith whispered softly. Her heart ached for her troubled sister, yet at the same time she raged for all the evil that Patsy had spawned.

Meredith leaned her forehead against the window, the glass cool with the late October air. And why with almost all of her memories returned to her, did she still have blank spaces where Joe was concerned?

Was it possible he wasn’t the man who had haunted her when she had positively no memories at all? At that time, she’d dreamed of a man’s arms around her, holding her close. She’d felt a sense of deep security, a wave of belonging and had ached to be with that man again.

Had it been Joe that she had dreamed about? Or had those dreams merely been the fantasies of a lonely, unloved woman?

Tomorrow. She shivered, both anxious and afraid to discover what the day would bring.

Thirteen

“We need to talk,” Chance said to Lana the next morning when she came into the kitchen.

She sank down at the table, her cheeks instantly warming as she thought of their middle-of-the-night lovemaking. Was that what he wanted to discuss? Did he intend to make up some excuse? Offer some explanation that had nothing to do with love or desire? If he did, she thought her heart would break in two.

“About what?” She hoped he couldn’t read any of her thoughts in her expression as she gazed at him.

He sank onto the chair next to hers. “Late last night I went out and took down the For Sale sign. I put it in the barn.”

She stared at him in surprise. “I—I don’t understand.”

“I’m not selling.”

Her heart thundered against her ribs and hope spilled shining rays of light through her. She tried to ignore it, not wanting to second-guess his intentions and be disappointed. “Then, what are you going to do?” she asked softly.

His gaze held hers, his eyes as green as sweet pastures, as warm as spring sunshine. “I’m going to renege on our bargain.”

“Renege?” Her head swam as her heartbeat accelerated to what felt like a feverish pace.

“I’m not selling, Lana. I’m not leaving you and the babies.”

The hope that she’d been afraid to release fluttered through her, as rich, as wondrous as the new lives inside her. “But what about your life back in the Midwest? What about your job?”

“My life is here.” He stood and walked over to the window and stared out. “And my work is here.” He turned back to face her. “We’ll build this ranch into something magnificent for the twins. We’ll make this place the home that it never was for me.”

He walked back to the table and once again sat next to her. Taking her hands in his, his expression was nakedly earnest. “When we made our agreement, we didn’t know you’d get pregnant with twins. I can’t walk away now. What do you say, Lana? Build a life here with me. You need me, and those babies are going to need me.”

His words should have sent joy winging through her. This was what she had hoped for, what she had prayed would happen. She waited for the joy to suffuse her, but it didn’t. What did sweep through her was confusion and a strange sense of disappointment.

She broke eye contact with him and instead stared down at the tabletop, trying to discern the emotions that roared through her. “I don’t know, Chance. I— I need to think about it. I need a little time.” She looked at him again.

He nodded and released her hands. “I know I sort of sprung this on you out of nowhere and I know it isn’t what we initially agreed upon.” He swept a hand through his hair and leaned back in the chair. “But we’re good together, aren’t we? We could make a good life here together for the kids.”

“Yes, we’re good together,” she conceded, a deep pain growing in her heart.

Chance stood once again. “I’ve got some errands to run in town. Why don’t we talk when I get back? That will give you a little time to think.”

She nodded and stood as well and walked with him to the front door. “While you’re out, would you pick up some candy for trick-or-treaters?”

“That’s right, that’s tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know how many children you get out here, but I thought we’d better be prepared,” she said.

“I’ll pick some up.” His gaze on her was once again intense, somber. He reached out and touched her cheek with his index finger. “You need me, Lana. Let me be there for you.” With these final words, he turned and left her standing at the door.

Lana watched until his sports car had disappeared from view, then she went into the living room and sank down on the sofa.

Chance was going to stay. He wanted to build a life with her and their children. So, where was her joy? Why wasn’t she happy?

She replayed his words over and over again in her mind, and as she did, she recognized the source of her disappointment.

Chance had talked of her need for him, and the babies’ need, but he hadn’t said a word about his need for her. He hadn’t said a word about loving her.

If she were only carrying one baby, would he be making the same decision? Until the moment they had discovered she was carrying twins, he’d made no indication he intended to stay at the ranch and make a go of their marriage.

His decision had been made through duty and responsibility, not because of love. And as much as she loved him, as much as she desired to build a life with him, she would not remain in this marriage.

In fact, the need to escape suddenly consumed her. If she remained here, when Chance returned he would talk her into staying. She had no strength where he was concerned and it would be far too easy to give in to him.

However, she knew what the consequences would be. Eventually Chance would become resentful. He would feel trapped in a situation he’d professed he didn’t want. And as his unhappiness grew, perhaps he would become more like his father…unable to contain his bitterness.

Lana pulled herself up and off the sofa. She’d been a fool to remain here as long as she had. She should have left when she’d initially suspected she was pregnant.

The thought of leaving now ripped a hole inside her, but she knew she had no other choice. Going into the bedroom, she tried to keep her heart, her mind empty. She couldn’t think about what she was doing, couldn’t dwell on it or she would lose herself in tears, lose the courage she needed to do the right thing.

It didn’t take her long to pack a suitcase with her most immediate needs. She gathered her toiletries and makeup from the bathroom, fighting against the tears that burned her eyes. She worked quickly, unsure how long Chance would be gone and knowing it was imperative that she be gone by the time he returned home.

Before Chance sold the place, she’d make arrangements to get the rest of her things. She was certain that he would sell when he discovered she didn’t intend to stay married to him. Although he might initially protest her decision, deep inside she was certain he would be relieved.

Chance was a good man and he’d made the offer to be a real husband to her, a real father to their children because of his moral caliber. But Lana loved him too much to allow him to sacrifice his life for her.

She wrote a brief note and propped it up on the kitchen table, unable to walk away without a word of explanation.

It was time to say goodbye. Past time.

She held in her tears until she had her car packed and walked to the barn for the For Sale sign that Chance had taken down the night before. As she entered the barn, the tears could no longer be contained.

Half-blinded by blurry tears, she grabbed the sign and carried it back to the front yard. She shoved it into the ground and for a moment leaned against it, overwhelmed by grief.

She allowed herself only a few minutes to weep, then drove away from the ranch.

It was over. Finished.

There was no happily-ever-after for her and Chance. Her prayers had fallen on deaf ears, for she had prayed, not for Chance to stay, but rather for Chance to love her.

As she drove away, Lana refused to look in her rearview mirror. She didn’t want a last look at the home where she’d been introduced to passion, where she had dreamed of raising children and putting down roots.

She didn’t want a last look at the place that had come to represent the man she loved.

It had been a stupid bargain that they’d made. Her mother had been right, she’d played a game with her heart and she’d lost.

She’d promised him no messy emotions when the time came to part and that was exactly what she would give him. He would never know the depth of her despair, never be allowed to see her overwhelming love for him.

She’d go back to her apartment and build a home there for herself and her two children. And perhaps, if fate were kind, in time she would forget both the boy she had fallen in love with so many years ago and the man he’d become. The man who had stolen her heart.



Chance never sang when he was happy. Unlike his mother, who had either not known or hadn’t cared that she was tone-deaf, he knew he couldn’t carry a tune. Instead, when he was happy, he whistled.

His whistling filled the car as he drove back toward the ranch. He’d accomplished a lot in the two hours he’d spent in town. He’d spoken with Lester Pierce and pulled his ranch off the market, then he’d gone into the baby store and ordered two of the fancy cribs that Lana had liked.

He’d finally ended up in the local discount store where he bought several bags of candy and watched as a couple of kids tried to decide which Halloween costume to buy.

As he’d watched the kids sort through colorful wigs and witches’ hats, he’d realized that in a couple of years, he and Lana would be buying costumes for their own children.

Would they have two girls…two fairy princesses? Or two rough-and-tumble boys? Or perhaps one of each? At some point between the time the doctor had told Chance about the twins and now, Chance had embraced the babies to his heart.

He would not be a father like Sarge. He had nothing but love in his heart for the babies Lana carried, and he knew he could never be the kind of cruel, difficult man that Sarge had been.

For years he’d worried that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, that too many pieces of his father resided inside him for him to ever be a loving, caring parent.

Chance’s fears had even come out in his dreams, when he’d dreamed of his father telling him that he wasn’t dead, but would always live inside Chance’s heart and soul.

Now, with the love for his children sweeping through him, filling his heart, Chance knew that somehow his father had been truly laid to rest.

Chance wasn’t his father, and he had the memory of his mother’s love, her gentle nature and her cheerful laughter inside his heart. He knew he was going to be a wonderful father, and this knowledge filled him with a joy he’d never experienced before.

He pulled into the lane that would take him home, a sense of pride rising up as he saw the house and the outbuildings in the distance. The place looked well-kept, loved.

Funny, how he’d told himself he hated this place, how he’d somehow believed that the house, the barn, the very land itself was tainted with his father’s rage.

Those nights of sitting on the front porch with Lana had renewed his love for this place. Watching the sun set each evening, enjoying good conversation, he’d remembered all the hopes and dreams he’d once entertained.

He would never have the family he’d wanted with his father. It was far too late for the two of them to bond, to build something good and worthwhile, but Chance could build those dreams, those hopes with Lana.

The first thing he’d do when he got home was fix the bathroom door lock and the Sheetrock in the spare bedroom. It was time—past time—to let go of the past. He no longer saw it as fixing his father’s messes, but rather as healing his own wounds and getting on with the rest of his life.

Pulling into the driveway, he frowned as he saw the For Sale sign in the yard. How had that gotten back up? Was it possible somebody else from the realty company had been out while he was gone and put a new sign up?

He parked, grabbed his plastic shopping bag of candy and hurried into the house. “Lana?” he called as he stepped through the front door.

The silence that answered him sent a cold rivulet of worry through him. Had something happened? He suddenly realized he hadn’t seen her car.

She’d seemed fine when he’d left. Had she started having pains? Had the morning sickness returned with a frightening vengeance?

He raced from the living room into the kitchen and instantly saw the note on the table. His fingers trembled as he picked it up and read:

Chance,
I can’t stay. We had an agreement and I think it’s best if we stick to it. You never intended to be a father and you’re free to go back to the life you led before our crazy bargain.
Thanks for two of the best months of my life.
Lana
He read the note twice, as if somehow the words might change in the second reading. But they didn’t. He set the note on the table and went into their bedroom.

The closet door hung open and it was apparent that most of her clothes were gone. She was gone. The dresser top once again held only his things, none of hers. The only item left behind was the candle on her nightstand, its vanilla scent a haunting reminder of their nights spent in mindless passion.

He sank down on the edge of the bed, his head whirling. She’d released him. She’d released him to go back to the life he’d led before her, but the problem was he didn’t want to be released.

He couldn’t imagine going back to his solitary lifestyle. He didn’t want a succession of unfamiliar women, didn’t want an endless chain of impersonal motel rooms and strange towns.

When he had made the decision to remain here and be a husband to Lana and a father to their children, it had never entered his mind that she might not want the same thing.

How arrogant he’d been to assume that she might want him in her life. How egotistical to just take for granted that she’d want to remain married to him, might want to build a real and lasting marriage with him.

All she ever wanted was a sperm donor. Sarge’s words from one of Chance’s nightmares came back to haunt him. You aren’t a keeper, boy.

“Stop it,” he murmured aloud, halting the familiar old hurtful refrains. He was finished listening and believing his father’s words.

He was not a loser.

He was not worthless.

But at the moment he felt utterly lost.

Lana. His heart cried out her name. How was she going to manage raising two children alone? Why wouldn’t she want him to help her, to support her?

He left the bedroom, unable to stand the haunting scent of the candle any longer. He returned to the kitchen and read the note yet again.

Thanks for two of the best months of my life. He read that particular line over and over again. Confused, he set the note aside and slumped down at the table.

If the last two months with him had been the best in her life, then why wasn’t she here with him now? Why would she want to end what they’d been building? And why…why would she want to deny those babies their father?

He needed to talk to her. He needed to make her understand that she needed him, that those babies needed him. He couldn’t just let her run from him. He had to run after her.

Thankfully, on the day of their wedding ceremony, he’d picked her up at her apartment, so he knew that was probably where she would be now.

Adrenaline pumped through him as he raced to his car and pulled away from the ranch. He felt frantic, as if he were about to fight for his life. It was an unpleasant feeling, one he’d never experienced before.

He released a sigh of relief as he pulled up before her apartment complex and saw her car parked in one of the spaces out front. Good, she was here.

He bounded up the stairs to her second-floor apartment and knocked rapidly on the door.

There was no reply.

“Lana,” he called through the door as he knocked once again. “Please open the door. We need to talk.”

Still there was no reply. He tried the door, but it was locked. “Lana, please. This is important. You can’t just leave me like this. We need to talk about it. You need me…the babies need me.”

The door to the next apartment opened and a wizened old woman peered out at him. Chance frowned in frustration. “Do you mind? This is private.”

The old woman snorted. “It isn’t too private with you yelling through the door loud enough for half the town to hear you.” She slammed her door with a snort of indignation.

Still Lana’s door remained closed and no sound drifted out from within. Maybe she wasn’t here, after all. Perhaps Maya had picked her up. A wave of overwhelming despair swept through him.

Reluctantly, Chance left the apartment and got back into his car. He had to find Lana, but he didn’t know where to look. All he really knew was that he didn’t want to return to the ranch without her. She belonged there…with him.



Meredith sat in the back of the patrol car, one hand clutching Emily’s. Rand sat in the front seat with Detective Thad Law, and another patrol car followed behind theirs.

Nobody spoke and Meredith’s attention was focused intently on the scenery that flashed by outside the car window. Home. She was finally going home.

Rand turned around and offered her a supportive smile. Her heart expanded with love for the handsome son who had worked so hard to make it possible for her to reclaim her place as a Colton.

Meredith knew when Rand had initially contacted the authorities in Prosperino with the outlandish story of twin sisters and Patsy’s deception, they had all been reluctant to accept his wild claims.

Thankfully, Rand had a sterling reputation and a stubborn streak a mile long. He’d talked and talked and finally somebody listened. Meredith showing up at the police station that morning had stunned everyone who knew Patsy as Meredith Colton.

Meredith refocused her attention out the window, a surge of excitement coursing through her as she recognized familiar territory. Within minutes she saw the terra-cotta roof rising in the distance and her heart leapt. Home.

She remembered! The impressive columns, the covered porches, everything was suddenly achingly familiar. She felt tears burning behind her eyelids as overwhelming emotion swept through her.

Emily pulled at her hand, making Meredith realize she’d been squeezing it too tightly. She released her hold and flashed Emily a smile. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Emily nodded, but didn’t return Meredith’s smile. Meredith ached as she saw the deep shadows of misery that clung inside Emily’s beautiful blue eyes.

Had Emily suffered a cut, Meredith would have applied antiseptic spray and a Band-Aid. Had she been burned, Meredith would have smoothed on soothing aloe vera and covered the wound with a clean bandage. But Meredith had no idea how to ease the soul sickness inside Emily. She had no idea how to fix the young woman’s broken, spiritless heart.

As Meredith once again gazed out at the house, her heart pumped an unsteady rhythm. Almost home. Within moments they would be parked before the big elegant home and the past would meet the present. Within moments she would know if she truly had a loving, caring husband or if she’d idealized him in her dreams and fantasies.

The patrol cars turned into the circular driveway and the tension inside Meredith peaked so high she wanted to scream. It had been the vision of strong arms around her, holding her close, that had kept her going through these lost, lonely years. It had been dreams of a large hand holding hers, of a solid body pulling her close, that had made her fight to reclaim her past.

Had those dreams and visions been of Joe? Why, oh why, couldn’t she remember his face? Why, if their love had been so good, so strong, had her mind erased his features from her memory?

The cars parked in front of the house and Rand turned around in the seat to face her. “It’s going to be all right, Mom.” His handsome face shone with fierce determination. “You wait here. Let me and the detective talk to Patsy first.”

Meredith nodded and watched as Rand, Thad Law and two officers approached the front door. Once again Emily reached for Meredith’s hand, as if needing the lifeline only a mother could offer.

“It’s going to be all right now,” Meredith said to Emily. “Nobody is ever going to try to hurt you again.” A fierce love welled up inside her, first for the child Emily had been, a child who had tried to tell everyone something wasn’t right with her “mother,” and for the woman she’d become, who had three times faced a killer because she refused to believe that Patsy was Meredith.

Meredith wrapped her arms around Emily and kissed her forehead. “Everything is all right now, Emily.”

Emily’s eyes welled up with tears. “Then why do I feel like nothing is ever going to be right again for my entire life?”

Meredith’s heart cried for Emily’s pain. She stroked her hair, kissed her forehead again, then released her and stared at the house, where Rand and the officers were at the front door.

Meredith’s breath caught in her throat as Patsy stepped out the front door. Even though she’d known Patsy had usurped her identity, had stolen her life, seeing her twin sister step out her front door was like being slapped soundly across the face.

Dressed in a beige Chanel pantsuit with a colorful scarf at her neck, Patsy looked every inch the lady of the manor.

Although the two women were identical twins, there were now subtle differences between the two. Patsy’s hair was slightly longer and blonder than Meredith’s, showing the effects of expensive salon care. Even from the distance that separated the two, Meredith could see the bloodred polish of Patsy’s long nails, so unlike Meredith’s short, unpolished ones.

Myriad emotions raced through Meredith. Anger, swift and self-righteous, was tempered with pity for the troubled sister who would resort to such horrific measures.

“Would somebody please tell me what is going on here?” Patsy’s strident voice rose in the air.

Meredith opened the car door and stepped out, her gaze focused on the sister who had betrayed her so completely. “Patsy,” she called softly.

Patsy turned her head and her eyes widened as she saw Meredith. The flare of her eyes was there only a moment, then gone. “Oh, you found her. You found Patsy!” she exclaimed.

“It’s over, Patsy,” Meredith said as she approached her twin sister. “It’s over. I remember everything. I remember the car accident that you caused so you could steal my life. How could you do something like this? How could you?”

A high-pitched burst of laughter escaped Patsy and she gazed first at Thad, then at the officers. “Poor dear. She’s always had mental problems. Did you know she spent time in prison?” Patsy’s voice held just the slightest tremor of nerves.

Meredith heard a car door slam and realized Emily must be approaching them. Patsy’s gaze swept past Meredith to the young woman.

“Emily! Darling, I’ve been so worried about you,” Patsy exclaimed.

“You tried to have me killed,” Emily cried as she came to stand next to Meredith. “You sent that awful man after me and he killed Toby.”

“Emily, you’re overwrought and not making sense. Why on earth would I want to have you killed?” Patsy’s voice was soft and on the surface sounded full of love. But Meredith heard the underlying tension.

“You want me dead because I know the truth,” Emily exclaimed as tears coursed down her cheeks. “You want me dead because I know you aren’t my mother.” She grabbed Meredith’s arm. “This is my mother. This is the real Meredith.”

Again Patsy looked at Thad and the officers, her eyes holding a tinge of panic. “Gentlemen, I really don’t understand what’s going on here, but this woman is my sister, Patsy Portman. She suffers from mental illness and she has obviously twisted poor Emily’s fragile brain.”

“Cut the crap,” Rand said roughly. He looked at Thad. “I want her arrested.”

At that moment Joe stepped out the front door, a bewildered frown on his face. “What’s going on?” His gaze fell on Meredith and he froze.

In that instant of eye contact, the floodgates of Meredith’s mind opened, releasing memory after memory of love. And in that instant, Meredith knew why her mind had refused up until now to release those precious memories of her husband.

“Joe…my Joe,” Meredith said softly as tears filled her eyes.

Patsy grabbed Joe’s arm possessively. “Joe, tell them. Tell them I’m Meredith. Tell them I’m your wife.” Her voice was a full octave higher as she clutched at Joe. “Make them all go away. I demand you make them leave.”

Joe didn’t seem to hear her. His gaze remained locked with Meredith’s and he shrugged off Patsy’s grasping, clutching grip and took a step toward Meredith. “Meredith?”

His strong, familiar voice sent a shiver of sweet heat through her. “It’s me, Joe. It’s me.” Before she got the words entirely out of her mouth, he was reaching for her and wrapping his arms around her.

“I demand you take this woman away,” Patsy shrieked. “I’m Meredith Colton. That woman doesn’t belong here! Arrest her! Get her out of here.”

“You don’t belong here,” Rand replied and nodded his head to the officers.

Patsy screamed a protest as the policemen moved toward her. “You’re making a mistake,” she screeched as they cuffed her hands behind her back. “I’ll have your jobs for this. I’ll see to it you never work again. I’m Meredith Colton. That woman is an imposter. I’m Meredith Colton and this is my home.”

Patsy was still screaming threats and warnings as they stuffed her into a patrol car and drove off. Still Joe held tight to Meredith as if he were afraid she’d somehow slip away from him.

And she reveled in his tight grasp, smelling the achingly familiar scent of him, celebrating the warmth of his body against hers.

“Come on, Emily,” Rand said and wrapped his arm around his sister. Together they went into the house, leaving Meredith and Joe alone.

Joe cupped Meredith’s face in his hands, his blue eyes filled with wonder. “It is you, isn’t it?” he said softly. “I can see in your eyes that you’re my wife…my beloved Meredith.”

“Oh, Joe, I’ve missed you so.” Tears once again blurred Meredith’s vision as she gazed at the man she loved, the man whose aura had given her strength over the past ten years.

“I thought I’d lost you forever.” His blue eyes darkened and his features twisted into a tortured grimace. “I couldn’t understand how you could become a woman I hated. I couldn’t understand how we’d gotten so lost to each other. I should have known she wasn’t you. I should have known!”

“Shh,” Meredith placed a finger on his lips. “How could you know? I never told you about Patsy. You had no way of knowing I had a troubled twin sister who could do such a thing. I was wrong…so wrong.”

This time he placed a finger over her lips to halt her words of self-recrimination. “My sweet Meredith,” he whispered.

“My sweet Joe,” she returned. Eagerly their lips found each other’s in a kiss of explosive joy, of re-discovery and of enduring love.

When the kiss ended, Joe took her gently by the arm. “Come inside, love. We have so much to talk about, so much to catch up on.”

“Yes, I want to go inside.” She squeezed his arm, her eyes once again filling with tears of joy as her heart expanded with love. “Oh, Joe, it’s so good to be home.”

Fourteen

Lana awoke the next morning exhausted and ill. She remained in bed waiting for the morning sickness to pass and tried not to think of Chance. But not thinking of him was as difficult as not drawing her next breath.

He had remained outside her apartment for most of the afternoon and evening. She’d heard his confrontation with her neighbor then had heard him leave. But he’d returned soon after and begun the barrage anew. Occasionally he’d knock on the door and call her name, his familiar voice aching in her heart. But she’d remained steadfastly silent, refusing to give him any indication that she was even home.

It was close to midnight when he finally gave up and she’d watched him pull out of the apartment parking lot. She’d wanted to run after him, tell him she would spend the rest of her life with him, that perhaps she loved him enough for the both of them.

But she knew they’d both regret it. He would eventually regret being bound to a woman he didn’t love, to a ranch that had never been home and to babies he’d never counted on. She would watch him grow more and more unhappy and she would regret her own decision to keep him bound to her through a loveless marriage.

She rolled over in her small, single bed, her body aching for Chance’s arms around her, his chest beneath her fingertips, his legs entwined with hers. She remained that way until almost noon, then with her morning sickness waning, she got up to face a lonely day.

The items she’d brought from Chance’s house had not been unpacked, and as the coffee brewed, she eyed the suitcases with dread. Unpacking was the final step in reclaiming her life alone, but she wasn’t ready to face it yet.

Instead she curled up on the sofa with a cup of coffee and wondered what Chance was doing at that very moment. Did he miss her just a little bit, or had the relief of being set free already seeped through him?

He’d probably put the ranch back on the market already, itching to go back to the Midwest and start his own business.

And she would remain here and have her babies. His babies. She looked around the small apartment. Eventually she’d have to move. This apartment was rented for a single woman and was far too small for a woman and two children.

Tears filled her eyes and her heart ached from loving Chance. In two months he’d captured her heart entirely. She felt as if by leaving him she’d deprived herself of a basic essential of life. But she absolutely couldn’t stay with him, knowing he was staying only for the sake of their babies.

She drank two cups of coffee before she realized it was Halloween and she didn’t have a piece of candy in the place. She knew from years past that the apartments always got lots of trick-or-treaters.

Within an hour she’d dressed and got in her car to head to the store for treats. The discount store was filled with frantic mothers and crabby kids shopping for last-minute costume needs.

“But I wanted to be a skeleton,” a little boy about seven wailed.

“There aren’t any skeleton costumes,” his mother replied. “Look, you can be Dracula instead.”

“I don’t wanna be Dracula. I want to be a skeleton,” the little boy protested.

The mother looked at Lana and rolled her eyes, then gazed again at her son. “If you’re Dracula, we can get fake blood and put it on your face.”

The little boy’s face lit up. “Fake blood? Cool!”

Lana left the two and hurried to the candy display. Someday she would be that mother, good-naturedly arguing with two children over Halloween costumes.

But before they got old enough to understand about Halloween, there would be diapers to change, mid-night feedings and fussy times. Trying to handle two babies alone would be exhausting.

At least she knew she could depend on her mother and her sister to help when necessary. It wasn’t as if she were all alone, even though without Chance she felt all alone.

She paid for three bags of candy treats, then headed back to the apartment. There was no sign of Chance’s car in the parking lot, and when she got inside, there were no messages on her answering machine.

He’d given up. The relief she knew he’d eventually feel apparently had already grabbed him. It was over. Truly and irrevocably over.

When she got back inside her apartment, she began to unpack, and as she unpacked, she wept. Because her babies would not have a father. Because she would never have Chance.



Chance sat in the kitchen, listening to the silence of the house around him. Lana had been absent from the house before, but never had the sound of her absence resonated so loudly.

Before he’d been fully awake that morning, he’d reached for her, and had come away with empty arms and an aching heart.

Work, he’d thought. Work was the panacea for whatever ailed you and with that thought in mind, he’d gotten out of bed, dressed and spent the morning repairing the Sheetrock in the spare room.

The baby store had promised delivery of the cribs by noon and sure enough at fifteen minutes before twelve, the delivery truck had arrived.

Chance had spent the next two hours moving furniture out of the room and putting together the two cribs. When he was finished, he stood in the doorway of the room and stared at the beautiful baby beds with their lacy canopies.

The room was perfect for babies. The eastern window allowed in the morning sun and the floor space easily accommodated the two cribs.

If he closed his eyes, he could easily imagine the sounds of babies cooing, of a rocking chair creaking, and of Lana singing sweet lullabies. And at that moment he came to a decision.

He didn’t want the ranch, not if Lana wasn’t here. And she wouldn’t live here as long as he was here. Lana loved this place. Her love and caring was evident in every room of the house.

She’d placed her mark on it with flower arrangements and pictures on the walls, with shiny wood and spotless floors. She belonged here far more than he did. His babies belonged here.

Lana didn’t want to spend her life with him. Right from the beginning she’d made it clear she didn’t intend for him to be a father to her children. But he didn’t want his children raised in a series of small apartments, without room to play, without room to grow.

They belonged here. More than he ever had. This ranch would be his legacy of love to his babies, to Lana. But before he deeded the ranch to her, he wanted to talk to her, needed to make sure there was positively no room in her life for him.

With this thought in mind, he showered and dressed, then headed away from the ranch and toward the Colton house. It was the only place he knew of that Lana might be.

Perhaps she’d parked her car at her apartment complex just to throw him off the trail and she was really staying with her mother and father. If nothing else, Inez would know where her daughter was.

Inez herself opened the back door in answer to his knock. “Oh, Chance, have you heard the news yet?” Her dark eyes shone and her cheeks were pinkened with excitement.

“What news?” Chance asked as she grabbed his arm and pulled him into the kitchen.

“It’s nothing short of a miracle,” Inez exclaimed. For a moment Chance wondered if she was talking about Lana carrying twins. But before he could say anything, she continued. “Who knew that Meredith had a twin sister? Who knew that our poor sweet Meredith was suffering amnesia and living in Mississippi while her hateful twin was living here, pretending to be her?”

Chance’s head whirled as Inez filled him in on the drama that had taken place the day before. “I haven’t seen Joe this happy for ten years,” she said, tears of joy sparkling in her eyes. “The two of them are sitting in the courtyard now, like two lovebirds. We finally have our family back together.”

Family together. The words echoed with pain in Chance’s heart. That was what he wanted. He wanted his family all together. “Inez…where’s Lana?” he asked.

She frowned. “Chance, I don’t want to get involved in your business with Lana. I didn’t approve of this whole thing from the very beginning.”

“You don’t have to get involved, just please tell me where she is.” He heard the desperation in his voice, and apparently she heard it, too.

“She called me last night from her apartment.”

“But I was at her apartment all evening and nobody answered my knocking.” A wave of grief swept through him as he realized that Lana had been there all along, but had refused to open the door to him, had refused to even speak to him.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you, Chance. She loves you so much. She loves you enough to let you go. If you can’t love her like she loves you, then let her go.”

Stunned by Inez’s words, Chance nodded, murmured a goodbye and left the house. Surely Inez was wrong, he told himself as he drove toward Lana’s apartment. Surely she was talking about the fact that Lana had once loved him when they’d been young. If Lana loved him now, then why had she left him?

She loves you enough to let you go. Inez’s words reverberated around and around in his head. And she was letting him go because that was what she believed he’d wanted. Hell, it was what he’d believed he’d wanted until this very moment.

Now he knew. He knew the truth. He wasn’t staying in Prosperino for the babies. He was staying because he was in love with Lana. He pressed on the gas pedal, knowing the only thing he had left to do was to convince her that he was a keeper.



Meredith sat next to Joe on the stone bench in the courtyard. They had spent most of the night talking, catching up on their years apart. Then they’d made sweet, wonderful love, restoring what had been stolen from them, renewing the commitment they’d made to each other so long ago.

Meredith looked around her, strangely at peace despite the fact that the gardens that had once been her pride and joy had gone to seed and lacked the vibrant flowers she’d always adored.

“This place was the one memory that survived the car accident and my amnesia,” she said, breaking the peaceful silence that had lingered between them. She looked at the fountain, with its soothing gurgle and splash of water. “I dreamed of this place over and over again, and it upset me that I didn’t know where it was or how to get back here.”

Joe put his arm around her and pulled her close against his side. “And did you dream of me?” Joe asked.

She leaned into his familiar warmth, a sense of peace cascading through her. “I dreamed of a special man. I could feel his warm embrace, remember the touch of his hand. I dreamed of standing right here in front of this fountain and him placing a ring on my finger. The dream always brought me a sense of peace and also left me frustrated.”

“Frustrated?”

She nodded. “Because I couldn’t see the man’s face.” She turned in his arms so she could see his face now. “No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t see your features…couldn’t remember what you looked like.”

She saw the whisper of pain that shadowed Joe’s beautiful eyes. She raised a hand and caressed his hair. On the day of the accident, his hair had been rich and dark; now the darkness was shot through with strands of silver. She thought him more handsome now than ever.

“I know now why I had absolutely no memories of you, why my mind refused to give me a glimpse of your face.”

“Why?” he asked.

She placed her palms on either side of his handsome, distinguished face. “Because remembering you would have been so painful, I don’t think I would have survived. Because of all the memories that flittered through my mind over the last ten years, the memory of our love would have shattered me.”

He wrapped her in his arms and lowered his lips to hers. His kiss was passionate, yet gentle and filled with a wealth of love. When the kiss ended, Meredith once again snuggled against his body, her gaze scanning around the courtyard.

“I have a lot of work to do here,” she said, remembering the way the courtyard had once looked. “We need new flowers planted and all these weeds pulled.”

Joe smiled. “We have the rest of our lives to plant flowers and pull weeds. And I have a feeling you will have more help than you need.”

She smiled. “You’re talking about the children.” She thought of them all…her beloved family. Later she would spend time with them all, but at the moment she was content to spend these quiet moments with Joe.

Meredith sighed, her thoughts turning to her sister. “What’s going to happen to Patsy?” she asked softly.

He hesitated before replying. “I don’t know,” he finally said. “We’ll have to wait and see what the authorities decide to do. She’s facing a number of charges.”

“She needs help.”

“Meredith, how like you to be worried about her after all she’s done to you, to your family.”

“I hate what she did, but I can’t forget that she’s my sister, my own flesh and blood.” She sighed, and shoved thoughts of Patsy from her mind. “Joe, I’m worried about Emily. She’s hurting so badly.”

He nodded and took her hand in his. “I know. But hopefully time and love will heal her.”

Time and love. Meredith smiled at her husband, her Joe. Yes, they had time and love, time to heal all wounds, and enough love to last them for the rest of their lives. “I love you, Joe,” she said softly.

“And I love you.” Once again he wrapped his arms around her, his warmth suffusing her as his lips found hers.

Home, Meredith thought. Yes, she was truly home. Home in Joe’s arms where she belonged.

Fifteen

It was the longest day in Lana’s life.

With every hour that passed without a word from Chance, the knowledge that he didn’t love her echoed in her weeping heart.

She had finished unpacking and had no tears left unshed, so she took a nap. When she awakened, she felt more in control of her emotions.

She took a long hot shower, then pulled her hair back in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. Chance loved her hair loose and flowing. She would never again wear it that way.

As dusk began to paint the sky, she ate a light supper, then poured the candy she’d bought in a large bowl and set it by the front door in anticipation of the trick-or-treaters.

At least the evening would pass quickly with the little costumed munchkins at the door, she thought. Perhaps it would pass so quickly she wouldn’t have time to entertain one single thought of Chance.

As she ate, she thought of her conversation with her mother the night before. Inez had been brimming with the news about Meredith Colton’s return. “She and Joe are acting just like newlyweds,” Inez had proclaimed after she’d explained the whole situation to Lana.

Lana had been thrilled with the news. Joe and Meredith had once shared a relationship that had been the envy of half the town. They’d worn their love for each other on their faces.

The news also brought with it a bittersweet pang in Lana’s heart as she wished she and Chance had somehow managed to find the same kind of relationship.

Within an hour the parade of fairy princesses, cowboys, bewhiskered kittens and devils began. Lana had always enjoyed Halloween, but this Halloween seemed even more special as she thought of the babies she carried inside her.

The babies. That was what she had to focus on. Although she didn’t have and never would have Chance in her life, at least she’d have his children to love and to raise.

“Trick or treat,” a boyish voice yelled through her door.

She opened the door to see a youthful pirate complete with eye patch and hook hand.

“It’s really a trick,” the boy said, then stepped aside. Chance suddenly filled the doorway.

“Go away,” Lana said at the same time her eyes drank in the sight of him. He looked so achingly handsome in a pair of charcoal-gray dress slacks and a long-sleeved striped shirt.

“I’m not going away until we talk,” he replied as he stepped over the threshold and closed the door behind him.

“We have nothing to discuss. Our deal is over, our bargain is fulfilled.” She looked away from him, afraid that if she looked into his eyes, gazed at his beloved face, she’d acquiesce to whatever he wanted.

“Lana—” He broke off at the series of knocks on her door.

“Trick or treat. Trick or treat,” a chorus cried.

Chance stepped out of the way as Lana opened the door. She quickly gave each child their treat, then once again closed the door and turned to face Chance.

“Please, Chance. Go home. Sell your ranch and follow your dreams.”

“Sometimes dreams change.” He frowned in obvious frustration as another knock sounded on her door.

Lana once again took care of the trick-or-treaters.

“Come to the ranch with me, Lana. We can talk without interruption there.” He reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder.

She stepped away from him, finding his touch painful. “I told you, we have nothing to talk about.”

He raked a hand through his hair and his eyes were stormy seas of turmoil. “Thirty minutes, Lana. All I want is thirty minutes of your time. But it has to be at the ranch. Please.” The word was a mere whisper and his face held a naked vulnerability she’d never seen before.

“Okay,” she heard herself say and instantly wanted to call the word back.

A moment later they were in Chance’s car, both silent as they drove toward the ranch.

Lana wanted to kick herself for agreeing to this madness. She’d said her goodbye, to the ranch and to him. What could possibly be gained by thirty minutes spent with the man—and at the ranch she’d wanted to call home?

“I would have never opened the door if I’d known you were there,” she said, breaking the silence.

“I know that. It cost me ten bucks to get the kid to knock on your door, then disappear. He drove a hard bargain.”

A hard bargain. No, the real hard bargain had been the one she and Chance had made. The bargain that had, on the surface, appeared to be an answer to both their dilemmas.

They didn’t speak another word until Chance pulled up in front of the house. “I’m here, so talk,” she said, not moving from the car.

“Don’t be difficult,” he chided. “Come inside and we’ll talk over coffee.”

She didn’t want to go inside. She didn’t want to step into the place where she’d been so happy. She didn’t want to smell the familiar scent of Chance everywhere, remember the moments they’d spent together.

“Thirty minutes,” she reminded him as she reluctantly got out of the car. “And then you take me right back to my apartment.”

“It’s a deal,” he replied.

She followed him into the house, but paused as he headed down the hallway. He turned and looked at her, his expression unreadable. “I want to show you something in the spare room,” he said in explanation.

Curious despite her hesitation, she continued to follow him. When they reached the doorway to the spare room, he opened it up and she gasped in surprise.

The cribs. The beautiful cribs she’d seen in the store. Someplace in the back of her mind, she also registered that the wall had been fixed.

“They belong here, Lana,” he spoke softly from just behind her. “And you belong here.”

She turned to him, tears of pain, tears of anger welling up in her eyes. “Why are you doing this to me?” She struck out at his chest with her fists. “Why are you making this so hard?”

She shoved past him and down the hallway, needing to escape the scene of the beautiful cribs her babies would never sleep in.

He caught up with her in the living room and grabbed her by the shoulders to stop her from running out the front door. “I can’t let you go, Lana.”

“You have to let me go,” she cried. “We agreed. We made a bargain.”

“So, sue me for breaking it,” he exclaimed, his voice thick with frustration. “Sue me for changing my dreams, for realizing how empty my life was before you. Sue me for wanting to be a father to my children. But for God’s sakes just don’t cut me out of your life!” He dropped his hands from her shoulders. “I can’t figure out how this got so screwed up.”

Lana knew how things had gotten so screwed up. She’d fallen in love, and despite the fact that she was carrying Chance’s babies, she would not, could not sacrifice herself to a man who didn’t love her back. She sank down on the sofa. “I don’t know, Chance. When I first proposed this whole thing, it seemed incredibly simple. You get what you want, I get what I want, then we both walk away.”

He sat down next to her on the sofa and expelled a deep, long sigh. “Lana, I want you here. I want my children to be raised here, where they’ll have room to grow and play. If you won’t stay here with me, then I’ll deed the ranch over to you and the children and you can live here without me.”

She looked at him in shock. “You can’t do that,” she protested. “The whole reason for us getting married in the first place was so that you’d have this ranch. Sell it, Chance. If you don’t sell it and use the money to start your own business, then what will you do?”

He shrugged. “I can always continue to sell tractors and combines.”

“But that’s not what you wanted,” she protested.

“Lana, I don’t want to sell the ranch. I want you to have it.” He broke their eye contact and stared down at the top of the coffee table. “If all my dreams came true, then we’ll all live here together. You, me and our children. But I don’t know how to make that happen. I don’t know how to tell you how much I need you.”

“What?” Her heart seemed to stop beating in her chest at his unexpected words.

He looked back at her, his eyes tortured pools of emotion. “I need you, Lana.” The words seemed to seep out of him reluctantly. “I need you in my life. I love you, Lana.”

Once again tears sprang to her eyes. “You’re confused. You mean you love the babies. They are the reasons you want me in your life. They are the reasons you want the marriage to continue.”

“That’s not true, Lana.” He took her hands in his, holding tight so she couldn’t pull away. “You want to know the truth? When you told me you thought you might be pregnant, I was disappointed. I wasn’t ready to give you up.”

His words stole her breath away, but still she was wary. “Chance, I don’t want you to stay with me and then grow resentful and angry. I couldn’t bear if I thought that I had ruined your life.”

“Lana, the only way you can ruin my life is if you leave me.” His eyes shimmered luminously, like green mists in the moonlight. “I love you, Lana, and it’s you I want to spend my life with. I want to grow old with you, and watch our children and our grandchildren grow. I want you in my bed every night and sharing all my days with me.”

“Chance Reilly, if you don’t kiss me this very moment, I think I just might die,” Lana gasped.

He didn’t disappoint her. His mouth captured hers in a kiss that was a combination of hunger and love. Lana responded with all the passion that burned inside her for him, all the love she’d tried so hard to deny.

“I love you, Lana. You’re everything good in my life,” he said when the kiss ended.

“Oh, Chance, how I love you,” she said as she swiped at the happy tears that filled her eyes. “I loved you when I was thirteen and I still love you with every ounce of my being, every beat of my heart.”

He gathered her against his side and pulled the pins from her bun, releasing her hair from its confines. “I was afraid to love you, afraid that somehow I wouldn’t be the man you needed in your life.”

Lana opened her mouth to protest, but he placed a finger against her lips, then continued. “All my life, my old man told me I was worthless, not good for anybody. I wasn’t a keeper. And for most of my life, I believed him.”

His eyes radiated love as he gazed at her. “But somehow you managed to dig out the poison of those old feelings. You made me realize who I really am, what I’m really capable of, and what I want from life. And what I want is you.”

Lana’s heart filled with the glory of his words, the wonder of his love. She placed a hand on his cheek and gazed into his gorgeous eyes. “You are a keeper, Chance Reilly. And I intend to keep you for the rest of my life.”

Again his mouth claimed hers and in it was the hope for their future, the joy of their desire, and the dreams on which they’d build a marriage for years to come.

This time when he broke the kiss, his eyes shone with a distinctly heated glitter. “You know it’s Halloween night,” he said. “And if you come into the master bedroom with me, I think I might just be able to arrange a treat.”

She smiled. “Are you sure this isn’t another trick?”

He laughed and stood, then pulled her up into his arms. “You can tell me later.”

As he carried her down the hallway, Lana wrapped her arms around his neck. Her thoughts drifted to Meredith and Joe, together again after all the years. Lana felt as if it had taken years for her to gain her heart’s desire. She’d fallen in love with Chance years ago and had dreamed of being his bride.

It had been a young girl’s love and a young girl’s fantasy. But the love that blossomed in her heart for him now was that of a mature woman. She knew that they would fill this house with children and laughter, and most of all love.

Special thanks and acknowledgment are given to Carla Cassidy for her contribution to THE COLTONS series.